Updates. [15NOV]

Hey guys .
Im back to my blogging life.
Just wanted to share something with you guys.

10:19PM Monday - 15November2010
Pardon me because I'm also not in the mood of writing blog right now.
So , I just write them in the way how I use to talk and chat with my friends.
Well , Here it goes >>




since yesterday , i've not taken my dinner , my bath , even my breakfast .
sleep , i guess i did sleep for afew hours .. or should i say " minutes"
i cant do anything .
since yesterday ,
my feeling were like , crashed .
everything was like ..in a rush..
i covered that feelings..
never wanted to share with her .
i guess u all know who is the "her" im talking about .
she always wanted me to be happy .
happy happy and also make her happy as well.
i have to hide those feelings .
because i wanted her to be happy.
her happiness is important for me.
i dont care about myself sometimes.
its all her that i care .
2 days of not taking my lunch and dinner ,
i dont feel hungry at all.
i guess , love is helping me to stand up atleast.
but what happened today ,
i had to say , that it was my fault first.
i should stress too much on her .
i should be too bossy .
i guess , i have my father's attitude ( which is being bossy )
but for me , i dont think that im bossy ,
i always give her freedom ..
its up to her whether she wans to follow me or what..
i know that girl dont like to be controlled.
i tried everything i could .
but i stil fail in the end .
for just 1 advise..
i myself is confused right now.
i dont know its my fault or hers..
im just a jerk..
a full crapload of shit with no any specialties nor abilities lied within.
i cant even make her happy atleast ..
...
its all my fault..
this is what happened..
it all started with an advice..
i told her not to mix with malay people too much..
not to Over Socialize with them.
the way i see her .
like , soo friendly .
whatever happen to you , darling , everyone would come blaming me
saying that im not taking care of you .
saying that im not a responsible bf .
and there she goes..
" Fine ! i wont talk to any malay people , not even my friends ,
teacher , not even my uncle "
..i said sorry to her .
i smsed and miss call her soo many times.
she didnt wan to pick up..
she didnt wan to reply..
so i decided to call her house phone ..
her mum picked.
she said her daughter was busy with tomorrow sumting .
and she passed the phone to her ..
so i talked to her..
every question i ask..
her answer : dont know , don't want
.. can we sms ( dont want )
.. you wan to talk me de ma ? ( dont want )
.. why ( dont know , i just dont want )
ended up quarreling..
she hangs up the call..
i was stunned and i didn't even know what was i doing..
you guys think ba..
i kept on asking question..
the same question
and hoping for her to atleast just tell me what is playing in her mind ,
and what she answers me is all the same..
asked so many times..
and get answered the same answer..

i just wish she would come back to me..
after that phone call .
i did send her a message..
a long one..
and im pretty sure that she wont read it..
she wont even look at it..
as i expected , she switched her phone off..

tonight is gonna be a rough night..
i do sleep alone..
but tonight..
i am really sleeping alone..
without her..
my tears just cant stop rollin' down..
after everything we had did together..
sherry , dont you feel the same ?
..well u know what ?
i feel that u wont be feeling sad afterall..
i know u wanted this to happen..
..u dont want to reply me ..
you dont want to answer me..
and..
just 3 days ago..
its was our 5th month anniversary..
..






- МГ ZAC ♥-
"Its broken already.. please come back because you are the only one who can fix it.."